The One Question Every Parent Should Ask Their High School Junior Tonight
- Nathan Hurwitz
- 6 days ago
- 2 min read
Parents frequently ask where to start the colleges application conversation. The honest answer isn't a spreadsheet of schools or a personality quiz — it's one question, asked once, casually: describe yourself in three sentences, using only things you've actually done.
Why this question works
It bypasses the abstract adjectives — hardworking, passionate, well-rounded — that show up in nearly every application and forces a student toward evidence instead. If a junior freezes or answers in generalities, that's not a red flag about their character. It usually just means the narrative work hasn't started yet, which is completely normal in the fall of junior year and says nothing about how strong the eventual application will be.
What to do with the answer
Whatever comes back — even a stumbling, half-formed answer — is raw material. It tells you which activities, classes, or experiences your student actually associates with their own identity, as opposed to the ones a resume-builder website would suggest they list. Write the exact words down. Students often reveal more voice in an unguarded thirty-second answer than in three weeks of essay drafting. This will become the key to all the documents in your students colleges application through the common app - their personal statement, supplemental essays, activities list and more.
Do's & Don'ts
DO | DON'T |
✓ Ask the question once, casually, at a moment with no other pressure attached — in the car, not at a planning meeting. ✓ Write down the actual words your student uses, including the hesitations; they reveal voice. ✓ Revisit the same question again in a month and compare the two answers. ✓ Treat a vague or short answer as normal, not as a warning sign. | ✗ Don't correct or refine the answer in real time — let it stand exactly as given. ✗ Don't turn it into a formal “interview” with follow-up questions; the value is in the unguarded first answer. ✗ Don't compare your student's answer to a sibling's or a friend's. ✗ Don't skip straight to school names or GPA talk in the same conversation — let the question stand on its own. |
The Hurwitz Take
The families who navigate this process with the least stress are the ones who start with identity, not with a college list. Everything downstream — the essay, the activity list, even the school list itself — gets easier once a student can answer this question honestly.
Ready for a clear, honest read on where your student stands? Grab the free Parent Starter Kit, or book a $250 / 55-minute College Readiness session with Dr. Nathan Hurwitz — no long-term package required. hurwitzadmissions.com | nathan@hurwitzadmissions.com | (203) 613-9262 |
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